The Final S.O.S.

What is it in me..? Why am i doin it to myself? Wid the stream rolling down my cheeks, I still m willing to do all i can to comfort you?
I must be the biggest moron on the earth to believe even a single word u ever said, and I put all my trust in you.. Those flowery lines that with which each day I thot had made a headway, little did I realise wht was coming my way.
The have all forsaken me, the lords and the angles.. Cherubim & Seraphim
What am I to do now? Somebody help me.. Show me what to do next... I m on the never ending path of self destruction..
Forgive me my lord..

The Ignominious Ignore..

Doing something one really abhors.. difficult.. but m doin it now and God alone knows whts the out come, all i know in long term at least gud for 2 ppl. I for ever have held that to ignore someone is the worst we can do to one. Tis as gud as denying the one ones very existence. Filthy idea. I have been at the receiving end of it myself and trust me doesnt feel gud at all. Infact sux. Not for tht u start hating the one ignoring u but for that u end up hating urself in case the one ignoring is someone very dear to u. All the more to add insult to injury the one ignoring is least bothered.
It literally sux the life blood out of u. And then to know the truth at times u gotta turn the table.

Like i spoke in my earlier posts that knowing whts right and doin lie in two different realms. Well al I m trying to do is cause the least harm to myself and hence to the one at the receiving end. I alone know how difficult is it to do wht i m doin now.. N shall never be able to justify.

May I have the strength to consummate the race..

The Paradox of a Life..

How rare is it to meet people who make you feel that you are not totally worthless hehehehehe... Well on the other hand you do have a bunch full of people who constantly are making all endevours
to make believe that you are living in futility. Let me speak of the former rather than latter right now. Who would not want more of such people around oneself?
The man I am talking about is Ayan(hope i got the spelling right). The gentleman has and interesting bit about himself. A couple of years ago he did his graduation in engg from Jadavpur Univ Kolkata, India, and was one of the millions hit by the I.T. slump and hence got no job in India for the meager education he has got. The jobs here are only for Post Graduates and not Graduates. So on being advised went ahead and did his masters from London I believe Greenwich. Now this time he was hit again but only by I.T. boom in India. The paradox being that he gets a job with one of the most prestigious org. Oracle App. U.K. but for management positions. And our man wasn't looking for a managers chair come along he did techi degree for nothing. To this the management, Oracle apps manament has to say "Sir all our techie jobs have been moved to India and infact every other company here has shifted their biz to India. So now he gets no Job in U.K.
Well if things for him would have ended here but no. After living his life to lees and loving the Queen to core with a heavy heart he had to come back to where he "actually belonged" and start looking for job. Like you would have guessed by now again no jobs for him. Why?? Well he is too qualified for the jobs in here. And the kinda jobs he is looking were only given to Graduates and not Post Graduates. Well the job isn't at all different from what he was looking for earlier when he was told we only need Post Graduates and not Graduates heheheheheheh.
So how do I connect to Ayan? We met in train on our way to Bangalore. He was on for his interview at Oracle, where he was told the above, and me back to my college from my hols. I have had umpteen number of encounters on train I could share with all. And I have more often then not ended up making great Pals with the ones I meet on train. One of them is this. Well I promised him a few contacts of some H.R. in case he doesnt make it to Oracle as destined. Upon reaching Bangalore I just delivered as promised as and when required and was in touch with him for sometime during his harder days, and as God will have it lost him too.
Well we lost each other and infact had no memory of him any more. Well but then again one fine day some two years latter my phone rang.. and it was him again. More than happy i was surprised that the man would remember me or even bother to call me. Come along not many do it these days.
And Guess what he one of my contacts of high leverage has worked out for him. Lucky he. He has been working there since and been out for a long while and hence says wasnt able to drop a line and he goes on to add that yet was sure that would meet me up to thank me for all my help. Oh come along wht help some contact numbers and just putting you through a couple of people I dont think that thats too much to remember someone for. Well I haven't met many who do so.
And we did meet and relieved those moments of his hardship.
After long did he call me up again and with the same alacrity to see me up. Just plain simple gagging nothing else. Well really made me glad that the man still luks forward to see me up...

Well m left speechless..
Cheers to life...