The Final S.O.S.

What is it in me..? Why am i doin it to myself? Wid the stream rolling down my cheeks, I still m willing to do all i can to comfort you?
I must be the biggest moron on the earth to believe even a single word u ever said, and I put all my trust in you.. Those flowery lines that with which each day I thot had made a headway, little did I realise wht was coming my way.
The have all forsaken me, the lords and the angles.. Cherubim & Seraphim
What am I to do now? Somebody help me.. Show me what to do next... I m on the never ending path of self destruction..
Forgive me my lord..